Ziva's Donuts
by jfine
Summary: Tony DiNozzo has to choose, it's one or the other. Oneshot. Why did I write it? Because I'm trying to get over writer's block and boredom and Ninja Gaiden II is kickin' my ass! Donuts are yummy, but Ziva is yummier! Is yummier a word? Heh! Tiva-esque!


The elevator dinged, Tony stepped out as the doors opened, his stomach grumbling..."I'm starvin' like Lee Marvin!"...He groaned, moving towards his desk.

He tosses his bag to the back of his cubicle wall, he stops, realizing no one else was in the bullpen..."Uh."...Tony looked around, then at his watch..."Am I early? Heh. Of course not."...He grinned..."Then...where the hell is everyone? Boss? Ziva? Probie?"...Tony called out, but no one answered.

His stomach grumbled again as he moved his hand to it and started rubbing it..."I know...you want fed, me too! Don't worry, I'll get you something."...He took a step towards the windows, but stopped as he heard Ziva chuckle.

"Zee-vah."...Tony spoke, sauntering over to her desk with a grin. He placed his hands on her desk, leaning over it, looking behind her desk, but she wasn't there..."Ziva?"...He spoke, looking confused, he looked left, then right, finally leaning back up.

Ziva chuckled, Tony spun around, she stood behind his desk with her back to him, naked.

Tony shook his head in belief, but quickly smiled..."That's a good look for you, but I doubt Gibbs is gonna like it."

Ziva chuckled.

Tony took a small step towards his desk..."You're playful today...and uh, naked."...He grinned.

"You said you were hungry, yes?"...Ziva asked, followed by another chuckle.

"Heh. Amongst other things now."...Tony replied.

Ziva turned, holding up two donuts, each one covering a breast..."Choose."...She said with a smile.

Tony looked at the donuts, they looked identical to him..."Oooh."...His eyes wandered to her tight stomach..."Oooh."... She pressed her waist against his desk, blocking her lower half..."Ahh."...Tony expressed dissatisfaction..."Nice placement on the donuts, though."

"Toda."...Ziva giggled..."You see something you like, yes?"

"Heh. A few things...actually."

"Good...choose."

"They're the same, Ziva, it really doesn't matter which I choose."

Ziva smiled..."Me or the donuts, Tony."

"What?"...Tony cocked his head..." You or the donuts?"...She nodded towards him.

"Ohhh, no wait, that's not fair!"

Ziva chuckled..."Donuts..."...She pushed the donuts onward, one at a time. Tony stood on his tiptoes trying to see over them, but she pulled the donut back, blocking his view..."Or me?"

"Oh, come on...not even a peek?!"...Tony pleaded.

"No."...She grinned..."Choose."

Tony started to say Ziva, but his stomach grumbled, he looked down at it..."Shut up you!"...His stomach growled towards him..."This is my body, I run the show, not you...and if I want Ziva, I'm choosing Ziva!"

His stomach growled loudly, he moaned softly..."But a donut sounds so good and there's two of them...two oh-so delicious donuts, with, with..."...He looked up at Ziva..."Jelly, right?"

Ziva bit her lower lip..."Uh huh, cherry."

"Oh, sweet merciful donut lord, please forgive me!"

"Then you choose me?"...Ziva said with a smile.

"Y-y-y-yeah."

His stomach grumbled even louder, sounding like the word NO!

Tony slapped his stomach..."You can't talk! Stop it!"

"Feed me!"...His stomach grumbled.

"Hey! I said you couldn't talk!"

"I think it wants donuts, Tony."...Ziva frowned.

"No, no, no, no, no, no."...Tony shook his hands frantically.

"Donuts!"...His stomach yelled.

"Ziva!"...Tony yelled back.

"Donuts!"

"Ziva!"

"Donuts!"

"Shut up!"...Tony yelled.

"Donuts!"...His stomach retorted.

"Donuts!"...Tony fired back.

"Ziva!"...His stomach replied.

"HAHA!"...Tony laughed and pointed at his stomach.

"Crap!"...His stomach loudly groaned..."You tricked me!"

"You fell for the oldest trick in the book, stomach!"...Tony laughed heartily while smacking his stomach with his hands.

(DiNozzo!)

Tony awoke to his stomach grumbling, he was leaning back, his hands on his stomach..."Uh, Boss?"...Tony asked, looking towards Gibbs at his desk.

"You were having a bad dream, yes?"...Ziva asked.

Tony eyes swung towards her, he frowned and sighed, she wasn't naked..."A dream?"...He groaned softly..."No, no, no, no, no, no, no!"...He slammed his face into the top of his desk.

"What?"...Ziva jumped up from her desk, moving next to him in record time, he turned his head, laying his head on the desk, she bent over, looking at him frowning..."Ah, why do you look so sad, your dream was not so good?"

"It was great...except the ending sucked, like the ending to No County for Old Men, I mean, what the hell?"

"What was it about?"...Ziva asked.

"This guy, played by Josh Brolin is hunting and he happens to come along a drug deal gone wrong, everyone is dead, including dogs, so he takes the money and runs...and this hitman, played beautifully by Javier Bardem who kills people with this cool compressed air tank weapon and when I say cool, I mean cool! But anyway, the drug dealers send him after the guy and..."

"No, your dream, Tony."

"Oh...you."...Tony replied.

"Me?"...Ziva smiled..."Tell me all about it."

Tony sat back, she stood up straight and smiled at him..."I choose you, Zivachu."

Ziva squatted next to him and laughed..."You watch Pokémon, yes?"

"Heh."...He grinned, but stopped..."No."...He firmly answered.

Ziva smirked..."Me either."...She rose and started back towards her desk.

Tony stomach grumbled..."I know, I know, that was lame."...Tony whispered, patting his stomach. He looked up..."Oh, Ziva?"

"Yes, Tony?"...Ziva said, just as she was about to sit down.

"You wouldn't happen to have two jelly donuts in your desk would ya?"...He asked with a smile.

"No and I'm not naked either."...Ziva answered.

"Huh?"

"You talk in your sleep, DiNozzo."...Gibbs smirked.


End file.
